Thoughts on Bullying

WARNING:  THIS BLOG MAY NOT BE WHAT YOU ARE EXPECTING.  Today, there was another story on television about a school shooting as a result of bullying.  Bullying is getting a lot of attention in schools, the press, etc, but this old woman has a different concern.  I was talking to my husband today, and we both remember being made fun of.  He was short, had a big nose, etc.  I was the skinniest kid in school, with a long neck and big nose, so you can imagine the comments I got.  I was called turkey neck, and kids would do the gobble, gobble as I walked down the hallway.  Wasn't a fun time for me.  But guess what?  I never felt bullied. I also went to a very rough school, where girls fought a lot.  I mean, literal fighting, with nails, pulling hair, biting, etc.  It was great entertainment for the boys.  So there was also the fear of physical hurt, but I still did not consider it bullying.

See, here is my concern.  These kids who feel like they are being bullied, and that the answer is getting a gun and shooting people, are almost being excused for their actions.  Because they were bullied.  Schools are putting in programs to stop bullying, when instead, they should be teaching our kids to be tougher.  It's a hard life out there, folks!  We have tried to tell our grandson that bullying, or just having the guys make fun of you, will not stop in high school.  I work for a large manufacturing plant, and you should see the shenanigans that are pulled out there in the plant!  This is part of life, and all kids need to learn how to deal with it.  As parents, we can help them, by encouraging them, but we should also be teaching them that violence is NOT the answer.  In the form of fists, guns, whatever. You can only feel bullied if deep down, you agree with the bully.

Let's teach our kids they are valuable, and if they hear kids in school say otherwise, it's up to them to believe them.  If they don't believe them, then they are not being bullied.  All that talk is just babble that can roll right off their back.

If there is a problem with bullies in your school, I fear the fault is ours, as parents, schools, and churches.  Why does the kid bully?  Because he or she is looking for a way to make themselves feel better.  And that is because their parents, schools, and churches didn't do their job.  The kid that is being bullied?  They also have a low self-esteem, and their parents, schools, and churches didn't do their job there either.  As parents and grandparents, let's step up and do our job!

Diversity-An original composition by 12 Year Old Hannah Haddock.

What is diversity?  Well, take my Volleyball Team.  Some can bump, some can serve, some can pass, and some can hit the ball hard some hit soft, but we all are on the same team and all can play Volleyball.

Now, if we all had that mindset, the world would be a better place.  Something I always tried to keep in mind when serving on the Women's Ministry Team, It doesn't matter who does God's work, as long as it gets done.  It may be done differently that I would have liked, but it still got done, and that's all that matters.  We were all on the same team, and that's what mattered.

Those that are successful stayed

I keep thinking about a movie I watched this weekend, about the real life of Laura Ingall Wilders, the author of "Little House On The Prairie". Her father was a bit of a wanderlust, and thought if he just went here, they would prosper, or if he just went there, things would be better. Finally, her Mom got fed up with it, and in an uncharateristic show of iron, told him this time she wasn't going. That the successful ones stayed. I've been thinking about that. How many times do we leave a job because we don't like the people, the boss, the pay? Maybe, if we had just waited, if we had stayed, things would have changed, or we would have changed. What about the marriage that is just too hard? Or the kids that didn't grow up like you thought they should, and you are fed up with them? Or the church that isn't meeting your expectations of what a church should be. Or the family member or friend who has let you down more times than you care to count. What if, even when things are hard, we were supposed to stay? Don't get me wrong. There are times we are most definitely to go. If you are not safe physically, emotionally, or spiritually, God will lead you out of the situation. But I think, most of the time, that going is the easiest answer, and we lose a wonderful opportunity to grow, if we had just stayed.

To Spank or Not to Spank

As a Christian, I have always believed in "spare the rod, spoil the child". As an adult with grown children, I look back and think maybe I wasn't as strict as I should have been, as we didn't do a lot of spanking. There is a news story with a video of a father spanking his then 16-year old daughter. It is pretty hard to watch, I admit, and part of me thinks he went overboard, but another part started to notice something. The whole time he is spanking her, he is telling her to do something, and she is still refusing to do it. That tells me a lot. That tells me that he had probably reached the end of his rope with a very rebellious child. Anyone out there have a rebellious teen? What is a parent supposed to do? What else could he have done at that point? And another thing. Who was taking the vidoe? If it was truly abuse, why did the person holding the video camera allow it to continue. And why did it come out now, after so many years? I had a neighbor one time who had a rebellious child. They spanked her (I think she was about 10 at the time), so she called CPS. From that time forward, they were afraid to discipline her at all, and the results were disastrous. The bible tells us to discipline our children. There are even a couple of stories where God held the parent responsible, because they failed to control their children. I don't like to see parents spank their kids in public, but I sure don't like to see the results of children with no discipline at all. By the way, although we can count on one hand the number of times we spanked our two, they STILL have the fear of "Mom". I guess we did OK.

Who is your Director?

Regan: “See Mom, I can have a role in the chorus, and be perfectly happy, or I can have the starring role, and be perfectly happy”
Me: “Well, it depends on who the Director is”.

See, as a performer, there are certain Directors she will have nothing to do with. They have bad reputations, they are disorganized, and they are often a little too proud of their achievements. Then, there are those that are a joy to perform for. When one of those are Directing, she could care less what the part is like.

That’s how our life should be. We have the greatest Director of all, and that is Father God. Sometimes He gives us a role in the chorus, and sometimes we get a starring role, and sometimes, we don’t get a role at all, but He is always Directing. Regan likes the “good” Directors, because she knows them, and she trusts them. How much more should we be trusting a loving Father with the role of our lives?

It’s like Shakespeare said “All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players:” We all have a “Director” of our lives. I choose the good one.

Humility or Enabling in the Workplace

Something I’ve been struggling with lately is this verse, specifically as it applies to the workplace. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself.” Phil 2:3 (emphasis added).

If you’ve ever worked in an office situation, you’ve seen them. The person who does the minimal amount of work, often getting behind in their duties. They sometimes seemingly expect everyone else to come rescue them from the mess they’ve gotten themselves into. Maybe you’ve even been that person.

So, here is my question. When does “consider others better than yourself” become enabling? If you are constantly having to rescue someone from their lack of work ethic, or even from a genuine inability to keep up, aren’t you doing them a disservice, as well as your company? To me, it is almost a form of dishonesty.

Don’t get me wrong, I often come to the rescue of my co-workers, and I’m glad to do it. Situations come up where maybe suddenly they have an unexpected project, and they need help in their day-to-day duties for a time, or illness or the illness of a family member has caused them to get behind. This is to be expected in an office, and everyone should work together until the situation resolves itself. This is completely different. I’m talking about the person who just won’t, or can’t, do their workload.

I wonder if this way of thinking on my part is selfish ambition or vain conceit.

It's not about you.

Suppose you are an extra in an upcoming movie. You will probably scrutinize that one scene where hundreds of people are milling around, just waiting for that two-fifths of a second when you can see the back of your head. Maybe your mom and your closest friend get excited about that two-fifths of a second with you....maybe. But no one else will realize it is you. Even if you tell them, they won't care.

Let's take it a step further. What if you rent out the theater on opening night and invite all your friends and family to come see the new movie about you? People will say, "You're an idiot! How could you think this movie is about you?

Many Christians are even more delusional than the person I've been describing. So many of us think and live like the movie of life is all about us. (From "Crazy Love", by Francis Chan)